Many people have taken notice of the relationship that Sam and I have. It’s not just a love affair, it’s also a like affair. Close friends have asked us for years about how we do it and what the secret sauce is to our relationship. We both take this as a very high compliment and are honored.
The truth is that I never really thought about it. It simply came so natural to us. It’s not that we were blessed with some magical life with no serious problems. On the contrary, we have NOT had an easy time of it. Our life together would be considered by some, very difficult.
We have faced hardships that are quite honestly, unimaginable to most couples, but we prevail. The image above is our feet, we took that in a parking lot. Yes, I was really smooching him which is hard to do bc he’s almost 6’5″ and I’m 5’3″
We thought it was a cute idea because we had matching shoes that day.
I asked Sam the other day what he thought our ‘secret sauce’ was to our relationship and closeness. He responded “Suzy, it’s cause I’m in like with you.”
I said HUH? I didn’t really expect that as an answer, and it caught me off guard.
Suzy: What exactly do you mean by in like? You mean love?
Sam: I meant what I said, I’m in like with you.
I asked him what he meant again, because he is serious, and I find his comments to be a headscratcher!
He said that of course I love you. That goes without saying, and continued, “I believe that ‘love’ is a bit overrated and that everybody loves everybody and everything nowadays, Actors and musicians tell their fans that they love them. People end conversations with ‘love ya.’ Being in like is better.”
He restated that he loves me, reminding me he’s been drawing a face since age 13 that looks just like me…which is crazy, but true. He can do simple drawings, and several months after fell in love, he cleaned out his old wallet! He pulled out a 2″ by 2″ worn-out piece of paper from his wallet with a caricature of a face on it – MINE! Literally, he has been drawing me for years before we met, he doesn’t even know why, or how to explain it. I’ll see if I can find this in my album because I kept it. I want to post it here.
But how bizarre is that??!!
Are You In Like or In Love? Or Both?
We love neighbors, friends, pets, movies, cell phones and shoes…and that love has been watered down by its overuse. Heck- even McDonald’s motto is “I’m lovin’ it.”
How many of us have heard someone say: “I love my child, but I don’t like what he or she is doing.”
I have. Sam said that love is a given with your kids but ‘like’ is a bonus. Luckily, I not only love, but I like my children! They turned out to be great human beings, compassionate, intelligent, hard-working, and witty! And much more.
Sam believes that the power of ‘like’ is where it’s at
Let me digress for just a moment. I’ll be frank, Sam and I have faced potential death (his) on more than one occasion.
He is a beautiful soul and always tries to see the bright side and remains optimistic. He is loyal, funny, handsome and generous. We have spent most of our lives together searching for his ultimate cure. In the process, we have learned not to sweat the small stuff because honestly, everything is “small” when you don’t know if you will have tomorrow together with your beloved. I know you understand this.
Every Minute Matters in a Like Affair
What we have faced, numerous times, over the past 20-something years as a married couple would place a strain on any relationship. He was poisoned by an antibiotic in 1994, plain and simple. He was diagnosed incorrectly, over and over! He was given more drugs that had bad side effects. We went to some bad doctors too!
I recall as I type this, how strong I had to be, how scared we both were, how hard every single hour was, and how the minutes mattered. We took trips to the hospital or pharmacy in blizzards, we flew cross country, drove to crazy doctors who promised a cure with this or that.
It is what drives me. My love story (aka like affair) is what drives me to learn more each and every day. And what I learn I pay forward to you. We would be awake night after night in the wee hours, we had catastrophic debt and sold homes to pay for medical bills, we didn’t ask for or take a dime from anyone. I just worked two jobs, and did my best.
Having experienced a lot of problems from this medical disaster (again, thanks to a host of medications and negligent doctors when he was young), we have a bond like many of you have, if you’re in love with (or in like with) your person.
Let me just say it in black and white: Chronic illness ‘tests’ many couples. We are still together and still happy, and share our days together because we don’t know when this love story ends. But no matter what, there is still lots of laughter. We are perfect for each other. We make each other laugh all the time. I love to prank him, he kinda hates that.
And he’s not always “down.” I should not paint him that way. He is a happy, easy-going guy, and if you met him you’d see how special he is. I love him so much and he loves me and not a day goes by where we aren’t hugging or kissing or telling one another how lucky we are to have what we have.
I always thought it was LOVE that carried us through those dark days, but Sam says he believes it’s because we really just have a LIKE affair. If you like the person you’re with, and have respect for them, the relationship is a lot easier, and the hard times become a speed bump.
Closing Thoughts
As I type this, Sam is over my shoulder and talking to me. He said to reiterate this one point: That many people claim to love one another but don’t actually “like” the other person. Think of a family member that you say you love, but you may not like their personality, or unconscious actions.
Maybe a sibling or a step-sibling, or a cousin… anyone really.. that you text or vocalize “love you” to… but in reality, you don’t like their beliefs, their lifestyle, their habits, some offensive interaction they had with you… it’s that way, you may love them as a relative, but you don’t ‘like’ a lot about them. It’s quite possible, you would not even talk to eachother were it not a relative. Is he right? I think so!
He pointed to many couples we know and demonstrated that the ones that had long-standing, respectful relationships, genuinely like each other as friends. They have a like affair too!
Sam explained it this way, “As the years go by, it’s really nice to be married to your best friend so that when life hands you crap, you can laugh it away together or hide under the covers and hold each other tight and pray for things to get better.” 😢 🙏
According to Sam, our ‘secret sauce’ is our ‘like’ affair. ❤️
He says no matter what happens between us, even when the ‘you-know-what’ hits the fan, we like the other person genuinely and from the bottom of our hearts (so much), that we hold on tight and do our best for each other.
He believes that love may come and go, but like is a more stable emotion.
He explains that people ‘in like’ don’t tend to hurt their partner in unforgivable ways because they are truly best friends. They have too much respect for one another to fight unfairly, or with meanness.
Sam and I are man and wife, and we’re still best friends 👩❤️👨
Whether it is ‘love’ or ‘like’ that carries us through the hard times may be debated, but we know that we love each other and liking each other only helps when times get tough.
On more than one occasion we both have forgotten our anniversary and neither of us has ever gotten mad! We laugh when it happens.
My close friend came once asked Sam why he wasn’t perturbed by me forgetting our anniversary (that year) and he answered in front of me,
“Because the other 364 days of the year are just as special with Suzy we don’t need a ‘Hallmark’ event to dictate how we treat each other.”
You see, when times are sweet, it’s easy to love one another, but when life happens bady, and the going gets rough, a LIKE affair can rescue you!
The power of ‘like’ reigns supreme in our home. We like, we love, we laugh and we hold on tight to each other. Sometimes we cry when we think it’s over with. And then we get lucky and wake up together! Life is really all just perspective anyway.
You can get mad because your partner squeezes the toothpaste from the wrong end OR you can go buy two tubes and be happy again. 😉 Which is better, being “right” or being happy? Life is precious and falling in love is easy. Staying in love is not as easy as you may think. Maybe you have been through difficult times yourself? I’m sure you have, it’s part of the human experience But according to my beloved Sam, ‘like’ is the glue that keeps people in love, and together. 😍
So while the world is throwing around the word ‘love’ on pre-written cards (especially in February) selling millions of cards, roses and chocolate – all saying the same exact thing… try expressing to your special someone just how much you like them!
If they understand this ‘like affiar’ concept, and they actually like you back, then, you have your own secret sauce!❤️
My wish for all of you is that you find someone special to fall in like with! If you want to hear him singing, CLICK HERE to go to youtube where we are playing the guitar together – something we try to do all the time!
Suzy Cohen, has been a licensed pharmacist for over 30 years and believes the best approach to chronic illness is a combination of natural medicine and conventional. She founded her own dietary supplement company specializing in custom-formulas, some of which have patents. With a special focus on functional medicine, thyroid health and drug nutrient depletion, Suzy is the author of several related books including Thyroid Healthy, Drug Muggers, Diabetes Without Drugs, and a nationally syndicated column.
